The Personal Trainer: Ugly

Brett.  I don’t know how else to describe this guy, other than calling him an a-hole… literally.

When I met Brett on Plenty of Fish, I knew right away that he was fit, driven, and good looking.  After messaging back and forth for a couple weeks, he asked me out. Instead of asking me out to coffee or dinner, Brett asked me to come visit him at work.  He was a personal trainer at LA Fitness and offered to give me a free session.  I wasn’t too thrilled, but I couldn’t pass it up.  Brett seemed very nice, polite, and confident.  His confidence actually made me very nervous for some reason.

During the next few days, I made a couple trips to Dick’s Sporting Goods and purchased new shoes and workout clothes so I looked good during our session.  OKAY- here’s a big no-no for me.  Don’t buy new clothes just to impress someone.  Wear what you are comfortable with, no matter the date activity, (I know I have mentioned this before).

“When you get here, you have to check-in at the front desk. They’ll call me when you arrive.  Oh, and act like you’re my cousin; I told them I have family coming.”

Five minutes before I get there, he told me to pretend I’m family when I first see him… okay, umm?  When I arrived, I told the woman at the front that I was there to see Brett and I am his cousin.  AWKWARD.  He came around the corner and approached me with a big hug and said, “Willow! So good to see you! How long are you in town for?” Long story short, I played along with this pretend banter until we walked upstairs.

The next 60 minutes of this date was horrifying.  I don’t think it would have been as bad if I knew previously that I was going to get my butt kicked by this personal trainer.  He seriously bossed me around, telling me what weights to do, with what weight, with only 30-second breaks in between.  60 minutes of this guy barking at me and not once did he begin a conversation having to do with himself, me, or life in general.

After the hour was up, Brett walked me down to the parking garage and kissed me on the cheek when we said goodbye. He told me he’d like to get together again and said he’d call me soon.

So far, Brett seemed like a normal guy.  Yes, he was a little awkward during our “date,” but maybe he was just nervous that his coworkers would find out he is giving a free session to someone who is not family…

Late that evening, I started receiving text messages from Brett.  He started out simply, saying how good I looked, how great I did, and how he’d like to see me again.  Slowly, his comments and questions turned purely perverse.  He started talking about my butt, (I will refrain from using his graphic words in the next couple paragraphs). He talked about what he wanted to do to my butt, my breasts, my body.  He continued to ask for nude pictures, filthy responses and was very specific with what he wanted.

Now, ladies.  Let me share my beliefs on sharing nude photos and sexting, (I am not saying my way is the right way- I am simply sharing my own view.  I fully support the fact that everyone has their own beliefs.) I, 100%, believe that my body, my butt, my breasts, my sexuality, my suggestive thought or conversation, is meant for my husband.  Do I have a husband? No.  So, should I be sharing any of it with a guy I barely know? No.  Think about it… If you are married, pretend that your spouse asked you, “How many men have seen you naked?” or, “How many men have pictures of you on their phones right now?” I don’t know about you, but I would love my husband to know he is the only one, (or that he’s one of two). The point is, he’d want that number to be low.  Or think of it the opposite way! How many girls do you want seeing your man or how many girls would you like to hear have his naked pics on their phone?

Don’t get me wrong, I totally think that suggestive pictures and conversation can bring excitement and fun to your relationships; I am not against that at all.  It’s when you’ve shared so much of yourself with multiple men that have zero potential for husbandry- that is what to steer clear of. Flirt, for goodness sake, flirt! But, girl.  Save your body. Save your nudity for your man, your forever man, (or at least the man who you see that potential with).

Now, back to Brett.

After telling him multiple times that I would not send him any nude pictures, he made one last suggestion and told me exactly what he wanted me to show him. I received a picture, Brett’s anus, clear as day.

Well. Um. BYE.

Aaaand, BLOCKED.

I don’t think I’ve ever had to say this, but I think I’d rather receive a dick pic than an anus pic.  I just didn’t know I should’ve mentioned that on my dating profile.

NEXT!

Pick Me Up

I have spent a good chunk of my time reading through messages, and what never gets old is the good ol’ pick-up line.  Sometimes the pick-up lines that men use make me laugh, but most times, they just make my eyes roll.  Then, I read the occasional line that seriously makes me cringe!

Enjoy these REAL pick-up lines that I have received while dating online:

  • “Is your name Ariel, cuz we mermaid for each other.”
  • “Hey there, I noticed you also like to cook. Where do you like to grab groceries?”
  • “I think we owe it to ourselves to grab a coffee. Plus I can totally teach you how to scuba dive.”
  • “4 out of 5 doctors say that replying to messages on your online dating accounts actually improves your mood, helps you relax, and gives you complete invincibility for 24 hours. Hope to hear from you soon. ;-)”
  • “Hi.  I don’t think we’re made for each other. But, I would like to ask you for a favor.  Can you send me your clothes?  Not like what you’re wearing right now, but can you send me one of your full outfits, including your underwear and bra? It’s for an experiment I am doing and I want to put them on.  Thank you for reading this.”
  • “What you been Drinking? SNAPPLE??????? Cause it looks like you are made from the Best Stuff on Earth!”
  • “Here I am, what are your other 2 wishes?”
  • “Your account will be CLOSED unless you reply to this message with your name, phone number, your favorite flower, and how many Cheetos you can fit in your mouth.”

 

NEXT!

Online-Dating 101

Let’s get something clear.  The year is 2018 and there is no shame in dating online.  Your parents, and sometimes your friends, will  judge you on not finding someone in your everyday life… but don’t be embarrassed when telling people you’re trying it.  You never know what can happen.  However, always make sure you are being careful!  Before I start taking you on my dates, I feel that it is important to share my dating etiquette.

  1. Never use your real name in your username or profile.  Instead, use something that includes your favorite hobby, sports team or character from your favorite movie.  For instance, if you’re a Batman fan, use the username, “Selena Kyle” or something of that sort.  Believe me, this is the first way you can find someone with similar interests.  Only a true fan would know that Selena Kyle is Cat Woman’s real name.
  2. Never give a guy your phone number until at least one week of talking to each other online.  This will tell you how serious he is, and proves if he thinks you are worth waiting for or not… and YOU ARE! One trick I like to use when they first ask for the phone number, just suggest texting through an app like Snapchat. This kills two birds with one stone, because you can see if he’s willing to send you snaps, too.  Be a little wary if he doesn’t want to. Is he really who he says he is?
  3. Do not give out your address!  For me, this is a 3-5 date rule.  I cannot stress this more!  I don’t care if your week-long conversations consist of how he’s a preacher’s son and has never gotten a speeding ticket or a tattoo.  I don’t care if he is a police officer and tells you a million times, how much you can trust him.  Do NOT give out your address!  I am not saying that you have to consider the worst that can happen, but let me do it for you.  If he offers to pick you up, just say, “Oh, I will be coming from work, so where can I meet you?”   After three or five dates with him and you’re feeling more comfortable, let him pick you up.  If you aren’t 100% comfortable yet, by all means, wait!
  4. Wear something comfortable.  The last thing you want, is to be fixing your shirt all night, sucking your tummy in, because you just HAD to wear your favorite (tight) denim jeans.  This totally includes your shoes! Don’t wear those fancy heels that give you blisters. Just wear your favorite wedges or cute flats and you’ll be comfortable all night.
  5. Please, please makes sure you know the dress code for the night. One time, I dressed to the nines and my date had planned for us to go indoor skydiving and to a haunted house… in this case, trade in the wedges for a cute pair of Converse.
  6. Be yourself.  Don’t lie.  Let’s not waste time, not yours or his. This includes your online profile.  Don’t ever be ashamed of what you do or do not do.  In the end, you want to find someone who likes you for you.
  7. Trust your gut. If you’re ever feeling like you’re match is too good to be true, or smells a little fishy, pull a move from Nev and Max and put his photo through a reverse image search.
  8. Remember to have fun. Don’t expect too much or too little, too soon.  You are worth so much.
  9. Don’t forget your make-or-break checklists when adjusting your “match filters.” If you know you cannot make it work with someone that has a different religion or some type of yucky habit in the long run, make it clear from the start so that you’re not tempted from the start.

“Why are you still single?”

People always ask, “Why are you still single?” as if it is my personal choice to be single and unattached at 28.  Do you really think that I want to show up alone at my ten-year high school reunion?  Yeah, I’m really looking forward to everyone else telling me about their fairytale weddings and plans for healthy babies.  Ha!

The answer I usually give, is this:

I am extremely independent and work all of the time.  The men that I meet through work are either single and new-money, (immature) or they are so well-mannered, gentlemanly and MARRIED.  The only men I meet through work, are definitely not my “type.”  I do not have a lot of time outside of work to meet anyone.

How many of you use work as your excuse to not date?  To be honest, this cannot be further from the truth!  There are so many different ways to meet people.  There is no way, no matter how busy we are, that we cannot find our fairytale ending, let alone a date for Friday night.

Is it hard to date?  Yes.  Is it impossible?  No.

The truth for me?  I am picky.  Do I have a checklist that I bring to every date?  NO! Personally, it’s hard to meet someone that not only has good hygiene, but also has a great relationship with Jesus.  Don’t be afraid of having a “list.”  One thing that I always stress, is that God wants to hear your desires.  It is not silly to desire a husband that is six-feet-tall, loves dogs and is good with children.  Whatever your “list” consists of, give it to God.  Pray!

Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.  Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:  He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.  Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him.  

Psalm 37:5-7

I will be using this blog to share my journey of dating and all that goes along with it.  Read and enjoy the good, bad, ugly, funny and sometimes scary dates that I go on.  Lastly, please share your own stories with me!  I want to hear about your dates, make-or-break checklists and your personal horror stories, as I will be sharing mine.  Enjoy!

Tell me, why are you still single?