While I was swiping through my Bumble matches, I saw a familiar face. It was my ex-boyfriend from college… John Jr. I haven’t seen him in about seven years and I knew he was married. Or, at least he was. Swipe right…
I soon received a message from John Jr. At first it was all small talk, asking about each other’s family, our jobs, and life in general. Messaging on Bumble turned into texting, and soon enough John Jr. asked me out to dinner.
“It’s not a date! I promise, it’s just a chance for me to tell you I am sorry.”
A lot happened during the end of our college relationship. We were so young and made many mistakes, and one in particular turned into a pretty big snowball. Unfortunately, I felt like I was carrying that mega snowball all alone. It looked like John Jr. realized that and wanted to apologize for it. By this time, I was over the past, but it felt really good to get the acknowledgement from him. It felt really good.
Now, a little bit about John Jr. He is very well built, extremely smart, funny, a closet-nerd for sure and has the greatest smile when he laughs. We met in an English Literature class, where we crushed on each other since the first day of the quarter. Unfortunately, we were both too shy to talk to the other. Once we finally started talking, we had so much fun together. I was really excited to see him for dinner (and yes, he was divorced now).
John Jr. was a gentleman from the (second)start. He let me pick the restaurant, he picked me up at my house and opened every single door. He was polite back in college, but this time felt different.
At The Melting Pot, we started talking about the past. He summarized everything that we went through during that time, and made the biggest and most heart-felt apology I think I have ever heard. I was truly touched and we both teared up during one point of our conversation.
After dinner, we were walking back to his car. As we turned the corner to the parking garage, I was looking at him and he grabbed my hand to pull me toward him. There was a car coming out and I hadn’t seen it! He was protecting me. All of a sudden, the car exited and I noticed he was still holding me, holding my hand, and we continued to walk…
“That was smooth!” Haha, I said to him.
John Jr. laughed so hard, and kept repeating what came out of my mouth, “That was smooth!”
We walked to the car, hand in hand, and he opened my door. With the biggest smile on both of our faces, we headed home.
When we got to my house, we talked a little and then he got out to come open my door. Saying goodbye was hard. The night really proved how different we both are now, from when we were in college. We embraced in a long hug, and when I was ready to go, I turned to walk to my house… he then pulled me back in and kissed me. It felt like our first kiss all over again, butterflies and all.
We continued to “hang out” and go to dinners that we didn’t call “dates.” For what reason, I don’t know why. I spent Super Bowl day with him and his parents, which wasn’t awkward at all. I had always gotten along with them so well.
Our last day together was on Valentine’s Day. We had a lot of fun together, always, but this time felt a little different. It was Valentine’s Day. I think we both realized that we love each other and enjoy having one another in each of our lives, but we have changed. Day by day it seemed we were learning a lot of new things about each other. It was easy to realize maybe all of this growing that we’ve done over the past seven years has turned us into people that aren’t meant to be together romantically. We will always have a special connection. But, John Jr., you’re just not my forever.