I started talking to this guy, Jeremy, on Bumble. We had a lot of common interests and found ourselves exchanging messages quite a bit after a week or two of talking online. He had a great smile, pearly bright whites, which is always attractive.
After a few weeks of talking online and on the phone, he finally asked me out to dinner.
Everything had been great, our conversations had depth, he could make me laugh so easily, and to top it all off, he was smart. He was so incredibly smart, that sometimes I would find myself lost and unable to follow along with some of his rants.
When I was getting ready to go, Jeremy texted me, “Don’t wear heels.” At the time, I had no idea why he was saying that to me. But, I followed his instruction and put on my favorite pair of ZigiSoho studded flats.
We met at Big Fish, or some other seafood place at the Landing.
As soon as I saw him, I realized why he told me not to wear heels. He was short… he was small and short. He was so small, my own head could have fit three of his own. I normally don’t have a problem with a guy being close to my height, or smaller in general, but Jeremy was legitimately 1/4 the size I was. I felt so awkward feeling like this man would not even be able to pick me up. Have you ever felt like that? I just feel that my partner should be big enough, strong enough to pick me up.
Anyways, let’s get to the date…
We sat down in a booth and the server recited the day’s special, halibut.
Now, for all of you that don’t know about fish, halibut is a light fish, unlike salmon.
We took about 10 minutes, just chatting and looking over our menus. Jeremy asked me if I was going to get the special and out from my mouth came the worst thing I could have said:
“I like all fish, I like light fish, but I really do prefer a dark fish.”
I had said this while looking down at my menu, and then looked up at him right as I said, “dark fish.”
We locked eyes and both started cracking up, laughing. Jeremy was half asian, half black, (he kept calling himself “blasian”).
After I embarrassed myself by saying I prefer dark fish, my statement was the topic of conversation many times that night. We had fun with dinner. However, I still felt weird being so much bigger than him.
After dinner, we headed back to the parking lot. Jeremy asked if I still wanted to talk and we sat in his car singing to our favorite nineties r&b songs and playing some fish jumping app on our phones… yeah, real exciting. We sat there for about two hours, just talking and listening to music. Suddenly, he asked me if I would sit on his lap, on his side of the car.
“I’m sorry, but no.” Why would I go sit on his lap, IN A CAR, on our first date? All we had been doing was talking; I wasn’t feeling it. Ha, no pun intended…
You know, sometimes people move quickly. Sometimes people throw away their bodies and their morals. But, I am not looking for a one-night-stand; I am looking for forever. Whoever that ends up being with, it will be with a respectful gentleman who isn’t just looking for sex.
I say this to you every time, but I really mean it: be yourself. Don’t ever sacrifice your dreams and morals for something that won’t last another day. You are worth so more!
To end this date, I simply told him it was time for me to go. I wasn’t afraid to voice my opinion to him, because I did feel safe. Unfortunately, girls sometimes feel scared to voice their opinion to a new guy because they seem stronger than us, which tells us they can be controlling if need be. But, Jeremy never made me feel like my safety was at risk and I appreciate that. However, it just wasn’t meant to be… and that is okay.