“Why are you still single?”

People always ask, “Why are you still single?” as if it is my personal choice to be single and unattached at 28.  Do you really think that I want to show up alone at my ten-year high school reunion?  Yeah, I’m really looking forward to everyone else telling me about their fairytale weddings and plans for healthy babies.  Ha!

The answer I usually give, is this:

I am extremely independent and work all of the time.  The men that I meet through work are either single and new-money, (immature) or they are so well-mannered, gentlemanly and MARRIED.  The only men I meet through work, are definitely not my “type.”  I do not have a lot of time outside of work to meet anyone.

How many of you use work as your excuse to not date?  To be honest, this cannot be further from the truth!  There are so many different ways to meet people.  There is no way, no matter how busy we are, that we cannot find our fairytale ending, let alone a date for Friday night.

Is it hard to date?  Yes.  Is it impossible?  No.

The truth for me?  I am picky.  Do I have a checklist that I bring to every date?  NO! Personally, its hard to meet someone that not only has good hygiene, but also has a great relationship with Jesus.  Don’t be afraid of having a “list.”  One thing that I always stress, is that God wants to hear your desires.  It is not silly to desire a husband that is six-feet-tall, loves dogs and is good with children.  Whatever your “list” consists of, give it to God.  Pray!

Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.  Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:  He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.  Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him.  

Psalm 37:5-7

I will be using this blog to share my journey of dating and all that goes along with it.  Read and enjoy the good, bad, ugly, funny and sometimes scary dates that I go on.  Lastly, please share your own stories with me!  I want to hear about your dates, make-or-break checklists and your personal horror stories, as I will be sharing mine.  Enjoy!

Tell me, why are you still single?

 

Online-Dating 101

Let’s get something clear.  The year is 2017 and there is no shame in dating online.  Your parents, and sometimes your friends, will  judge you on not finding someone in your everyday life… but don’t be embarrassed when telling people you’re trying it.  You never know what can happen.  However, always make sure you are being careful!  Before I start taking you on my dates, I feel that it is important to share my dating etiquette.

  1. Never use your real name in your username or profile.  Instead, use something that includes your favorite hobby, sports team or character from your favorite movie.  For instance, if you’re a Batman fan, use the username, “Selena Kyle” or something of that sort.  Believe me, this is the first way you can find someone with similar interests.  Only a true fan would know that Selena Kyle is Cat Woman’s real name.
  2. Never give a guy your phone number until at least one week of talking to each other online.  This will tell you how serious he is, and proves if he thinks you are worth waiting for or not… and YOU ARE! One trick I like to use when they first ask for the phone number, just suggest texting through an app like Snapchat. This kills two birds with one stone, because you can see if he’s willing to send you snaps, too.  Be a little wary if he doesn’t want to. Is he really who he says he is?
  3. Do not give out your address!  For me, this is a 3-5 date rule.  I cannot stress this more!  I don’t care if your week-long conversations consist of how he’s a preacher’s son and has never gotten a speeding ticket or a tattoo.  I don’t care if he is a police officer and tells you a million times, how much you can trust him.  Do NOT give out your address!  I am not saying that you have to consider the worst that can happen, but let me do it for you.  If he offers to pick you up, just say, “Oh, I will be coming from work, so where can I meet you?”   After three or five dates with him and you’re feeling more comfortable, let him pick you up.  If you aren’t 100% comfortable yet, by all means, wait!
  4. Wear something comfortable.  The last thing you want, is to be fixing your shirt all night, sucking your tummy in, because you just HAD to wear your favorite (tight) denim jeans.  This totally includes your shoes! Don’t wear those fancy heels that give you blisters. Just wear your favorite wedges or cute flats and you’ll be comfortable all night.
  5. Please, please makes sure you know the dress code for the night. One time, I dressed to the nines and my date had planned for us to go indoor skydiving and to a haunted house… in this case, trade in the wedges for a cute pair of Converse.
  6. Be yourself.  Don’t lie.  Let’s not waste time, not yours or his. This includes your online profile.  Don’t ever be ashamed of what you do or do not do.  In the end, you want to find someone who likes you for you.
  7. Trust your gut. If you’re ever feeling like you’re match is too good to be true, or smells a little fishy, pull a move from Nev and Max and put his photo through a reverse image search.
  8. Remember to have fun. Don’t expect too much or too little, too soon.  You are worth so much.
  9. Don’t forget your make-or-break checklists when adjusting your “match filters.” If you know you cannot make it work with someone that has a different religion or some type of yucky habit in the long run, make it clear from the start so that you’re not tempted from the start.